I read this post over at Production not Reproduction and I love her attitude. It shouldn’t have to be an us against them thing and I wish more adoptive parents would realize that!

I watched this on another blog and I’m still processing it so I don’t really even have a comment right now, but I wanted to share.

Sometimes I hate how all encompassing adoption can be. I hate how some of the most unassuming activities, like filling in a pedigree chart for my daughter, can be an overwhelming reminder to me of the loss of my son. He may never care to know of the insignificant connection he has to my great grandfather because he may never consider my ancestry as his own. And I will always be reminded of not only the loss of a grandmother, but also the very powerful and painful loss of a son every time July 3 makes itself known. Don’t get me wrong, I love reminders of my son. I love that they keep him an ever constant thought in my mind, but I hate how emotionally draining those reminders can to be. Oh how I wish the constant reminders were reminders of happy times and events, but regrettably I never had the opportunity to make many of those. I truly hope that someday I’ll be given the opportunity to have a relationship with him and to create happy memories with him. I want to look at that pedigree chart and not be reminded through seemingly inconsequential dates of a loss too painful to bear, but of my son as an addition, not a loss on my family tree.